Everyone’s searching for the secret sauce to a happy life and a happy relationship, but what if we told you the magic happens in the tiny details of your daily routine?
Forming healthy, sustainable habits can and will help your relationship continue to thrive under the pressures of everyday life.
Your personal daily routines and habits must incorporate your partner so that they feel seen and heard, no matter what chaos is taking up your headspace.
I am definitely guilty of getting so wrapped up in my own world and its problems that I neglect other things going on around me, as I simply don’t have the capacity to fit it all in.
With the help of the experts, I dove headfirst into the daily habits that shape happy relationships for myself and HELLO!‘s readers.
What defines a healthy relationship?
Before we can learn about how to have a happy relationship, we have to truly understand what it means to be in a romantic situation that is functional and positive.
Being happy as a couple means so much more than a few smiling, loved-up selfies that find their way online and an outward-facing “successful” relationship that is praised by others.
True happiness in a relationship comes when both partners feel acknowledged, safe and comfortable to be completely themselves in every scenario.
With almost 10 years of experience as a couples coach, Nicole Everingham told HELLO!: “I have seen first-hand the shift that happens when someone feels truly heard by their partner.
“The moment a person feels understood rather than fixed or dismissed, their whole system relaxes. Tension drops, communication opens up, and couples often reconnect within seconds. It’s one of the simplest but most transformative things I see in my work.”
© Getty ImagesHow to create daily habits that lead to a happy relationship
The secret to kickstarting more positive habits is to start small and then build on them once they become consistent parts of your routine.
Nicole shared some of the habits she has noticed in genuinely happy couples: “They check in emotionally, even in tiny ways.
Not long conversations. Just a quick ‘How did that go today?’ or ‘How are you really doing?’
“They notice and name the small good things.
They don’t wait for big gestures. They might say ‘Thanks for doing that’ or ‘I really appreciated you earlier’.
It protects the relationship from resentment.”
She continued: “They check their assumptions before reacting.
Instead of acting from fear, doubt or their insecurities, they pause and ask ‘Is this what’s actually happening or is this the story I’m telling myself?’
“They make time for connection instead of waiting for it to happen.
A walk, a cuddle, a shared cup of tea. Small intentional moments matter far more than big romantic gestures.”
Relationships expert at dating app TimeAngelika Koch, listed her top habits she feels result in a content relationship. These include:
- “Making it a priority to respond to bids of connection and attention. This will help the relationship to remain strong over the years because it shows the person you are with that they matter.
- Remaining respectful even in conflict. It’s important never to call your partner names or intentionally harm them. Conflict should be about both of you working through the problem together, not behaving in a way that reflects you’re against each other or trying to win.
- Continuing the same amount of effort throughout the relationship as you did in the honeymoon stage. Effort should never fade as comfort grows. It is something that should be maintained in order for the relationship to thrive.
- Consistency is a foundational part of successful relationships. This allows for a secure foundation where each person feels as though they can rely on their partner and can lean on them for support. The relationship is prioritised and treated as something that can only thrive with continued nurturing.
- Paying attention to the details of how your partner needs to be loved and connecting with them in this way, not just in the way you find it easiest to love. Successful couples prioritise loving their partner the way their partner best feels loved and pay attention to when their partner expresses dissatisfaction. The expression of dissatisfaction is seen as an area of potential growth, not as criticism. Actions will consistently follow after a discussion has been had.
- Treat your partner like they are your best friend. There should always be a foundation of friendship within the relationship. This allows the greatest chance of success and sets the relationship up for a positive future.”
© Getty ImagesBehaviours that can damage relationships
In the same way that healthy habits exist, so too do dangerous, destructive habits that chip away at your relationship, sometimes without you even being aware of them.
If your partner feels like you are constantly diminishing or dismissing them when they are trying to express how they are feeling, this can lead them to think you are not interested in understanding their emotions.
In this scenario, a breakdown of communication is likely as they withdraw into themselves and harbour resentment or issues until they reach the boiling point.
Another thing that is a sure-fire way to damage your relationship is to keep track of things your partner does and then revert to it during an argument, as if keeping a tally of their actions and behaviours.
These bad habits combined can lead to a growing separation between two partners that will only continue to grow further and further apart unless addressed and tackled.
